Answering A Pre-Teen's Difficult Questions

A few days ago Samuel, our oldest,  asked Wifey a question that in a way allowed us to see how passing the faith on to our adolescent children will be radically different from anything we've experienced thus far with the little ones. 

How come everyone gets to travel during Holly Week except us?

You see, here in Venezuela most people take the entire week before Easter Sunday off, and many head off to beaches and other vacation spots. Not us. We have a very busy schedule at church during these holy days (notice I said "holy days" and not "holidays") and have little or no time at all for anything else. 

See what I'm talking about here? I don't know, it may be just me, but for the first time I got a sense of rebelliousness and inconformity from Samuel towards us and how we spend these days compared to everyone else.  

Today, at lunchtime, the topic was brought up again and I had to make it clear that although it's fine to go to the beach, camping or canoeing, in none of those activities will we be able to experience the personal encounter with God that only a well-lived Easter can provide. I hope I somehow managed to explain what the priorities in a catholic household should be and yet at the end of our conversation I was left with this uncomfortable feeling. It's as if we were closing a stage in our lives and we were stepping into uncharted, dangerous territories where it wouldn't be as easy for us to have the kids follow in our footsteps. Yes, I know full well they have their own paths to tread but it is still my responsibility to make sure those roads come to a safe ending, right?

Right?   

What do you think? Do you have teens at home you're trying to pass your faith onto? How's that coming along? Let's share stories, tips and advice, shall we?

Lent's Almost Over - Time To Resurface

A few posts back I talked about giving up my BlackBerry for the duration of Lent as a way of fasting, remember? Also, I kind of hinted at staying away from social media as much as possible during these 40 nights and days, looking to prove to myself that "man does not live on bread alone".

Now I know if this ever happens it won't be the end of the world

Well here, I am. Lent's almost over and I'm glad to report that I've made it. As of Palm Sunday I should be back; more alive than ever. Did I miss my BB and Twitter and the rest of all the digital madness? Sure. A little bit. Wait, who am I kidding? The withdrawal symptoms almost drove me nuts. But it's great to know I can do without all the gadgets and social media. It really is.

So, see you all on Sunday. Hope you didn't miss me too much.

Yeah, right. As if you'd even noticed.

Do You Pray Before Sex?

Well, do you? It's a simple question. Go ahead, yes or no? Do you invoke the name of God and ask for His blessing before you engage in good ol' fashioned love-making?

I know, I know. What am I thinking, right? Well, bear with me if you will. There was once a time when I also thought sex and prayer where two words that did not belong together in the same sentence. But then my catechists came along and told me and Wifey about the sanctity of our bodies and how they are temples of the Holy Spirit and why that was reason enough to put ourselves before God; to sort of include Him in the intimate and sacred union that takes place between man and woman. 

Woa, this post got mighty serious all of a sudden, didn't it?

Of course I'm not talking about interrupting foreplay, when you're all hot and heavy and ready to go to war, in order to kneel down bedside and say the Lord's Prayer or anything like that. The way Wifey and I have put these teachings into practice is we say Vespers each night at some point in the evening (not necessarily right before going to bed; sometimes we pray before dinner, sometimes we'll skip a TV show and pray instead) thus when we do go to sleep and if action does ensue, thanks to the fact that we have previously said our evening prayers, it'll be a sacred, blessed and beautiful connection with the presence of the Holy Spirit sanctifying it all along.   

What at first seemed a little crazy and far-fetched has now allowed us to see our bed as that third altar (besides the Holy Mass altar and the family dining table) where communion takes place. Communion between God and his children. 

I leave you with this video about Prayer Book For Spouses, published by the Catholic Truth Society three years ago, aimed at helping married couples "purify their intentions" before sex. In it you can see different couples' opinions and points of view on this very personal and very intimate issue. Here's how The Telegraph covered the news then.

Well there you have it. Now it's your turn to jump into the conversation, no matter what your religion might be, (if you don't have one I'm really sorry for wasting your time) and let me know how/if you include God in any way, shape or form in the most intimate moments you spend with your spouse. 

The Two Creepy Old Men Staring At My 5-Year Old Daughter

Or was it all just a product of her very vivid imagination?

As we were leaving the house yesterday, Isabel, our youngest, apparently spotted these "two old men" looking at her in a "very weird way". When she brought it up a couple of hours later I asked her why she hadn't said anything at the moment, to which she replied that I had been distracted, paying attention to something else. Hmm. 

That night, as I was tucking her into bed, she asked if she could sleep with us in our bed since she didn't want to have any nightmares with the old men from before. You see where this is going, don't you?

Time to panic?

I don't think so, really. I told Wifey about the issue and it was somewhat comforting to see how she reacted with a chuckle wondering where Isabel could have gotten such far-fetched ideas about men looking at her in weird or funny ways. Isabel's request to (yet again) sleep with us, only confirmed our assumption that we had been the victims of the worst kind of parent manipulation seen in recent times. Wifey did tell me, however, that there had been a couple of cable contractors doing some sort of maintenance work around the building that day, so yes; I will keep my eyes open just in case.    

How would you go about a situation like this one? On the one hand, if you pay too much attention to it and make a whole production out of it, you could end up reinforcing the fear (whether real or imagined) that your young one may have felt. Plus, he or she would know how to grab you by the balls (if you're a dad - if you're a mom, please pretend for a second that you've got balls your children could grab you from) whenever they want to get something, whatever, out of you. Choosing to completely ignore the event could send a message that "dad doesn't care about me" or just as bad (if not worse), real danger near your kids could go completely unheeded with unimaginable consequences.  

So yes, it is a rather thin line us parents have to walk sometimes. Let's get the conversation started in the comments and exchange ideas and tips on how to best handle our children's manipulative efforts, why don't we? 

Lent And My BlackBerry

It is no secret to anyone close to me that I am completely addicted to my BlackBerry smartphone. Just ask my wife. She'll tell you how I can sometimes be a real jerk. 

That's why this Lent I've decided to take drastic measures. Since the Church advises fasting, praying and almsgiving (or mercy) during this time of penitence, it's probably a good opportunity to test myself and see if I can do without my beloved BB from Ash Wednesday until Palm Sunday, the day that marks the end of Lent an the start of Holy Week leading up to Easter.  

It won't be easy I know. I've become so used to receiving and sending emails, instantly being in touch with everyone via BBM (BlackBerry Messenger), checking Twitter, Facebook and foursquare, just to name a few of the things I'm normally found doing on my BB; that I know if it were up to me I'd probably be able to go BlackBerry-less for only a couple of hours before caving in. But nothing's impossible for God. I'm confident that through persistent prayer, He'll lend a hand and help me succeed in this 21st-century way of fasting. Oh, and yes; I also plan to tweet and check other social media sites a lot less during the next 40 days and nights. Geez, what am I saying? 

Now I'm fully aware of the fact that these 3 ways of making it through Lent - fasting, praying and almsgiving - are supposed to be practiced in private, seen and appreciated only by God. I'm hopeful that posting about these plans of mine on this blog will not go against that, since I don't have that many readers to begin with, and the select few that do visit here every now and then are folks I've only recently become acquainted with, and only through the internet. None of the folks I know from real life even know I keep this journal so for all practical purposes I'm going to go ahead and pretend fasting from my BlackBerry is something that will be, for the most part, known only to the Lord and the 3 or 4 people that will end up reading this.

Will you fast during Lent? If you're not a Catholic, does your religion or other spiritual inclinations advise fasting at any time during the year? How has that gone for you? Please feel free to share your experience in the comments below.